Archive for December, 2009
I don’t know what I’m going to do right now. Recent hospital bills and other debts have put me in a terrible place ,financially and stress-wise.I asked for help keeping this page up, but havent got it…I just now had it(blew it) and thats it I’m not going to put hours of work into it anymore if no one even cares about it, so this is my last entry. I will work on my members site and areas I can benifit from. … I don’t know that I’ll have the money to stay here, keep my page up or even my rs ad .I cant stay without either of those up ,as I wont be able to pay rent. I cant do rent AND I cant pay rent even now…. with of 500$ in new ashtma medication a month to pay month and 20,000 + med bill. . I dont even know what to do. SO if i can manage that I can maybe keep the page open, renew my ad.. dunno though,, isnt looking good and I’m sick of pouring all of my efforts into something i dont even know gets read or looked at….. I’ll let you know as soon as I figure out what can be done and what is best,where to go . I’m still doing appointments,but I cant spend my time here anymore, need to figure out how to take care of me. Because thats all I have aside from problems. To sit alone on New Years Eve and stare at the empty house, and cupboards. Sit here and stare all night long. Not even anything to drink . I just realised in life I have been shafted in every way conceivable. Shafted family, happiness, success, health or happiness… there is no point to carry on trying to keep your head afloat. When you are DOOMED and will always have bad luck rain on you, when you are cursed and life will always be that way for you ALWAYS , there is no bright side to things. An epiphany on a cold lonely hungry new years eve. Bring in the new year with a real bang i tell ya. Update: 9:25 a.m. NYDAY : Last night after writing this I scored a half pint of tequila and some hair dye and dyed my neices hair and had a great NYE after all. The world is cruel to shiny things. Some drama queen people spend their life creating their own trouble and drama and scenarios… but mine comes naturally…. meditation is awesome. Thanks to those who read/looked at my diary! Wish I could afford to keep it going!
I happen to have a eighteen year old lady staying with me that wants to write a sexy story for my site. So I let her. And here it is , a great first story isn’t it? She’s a bit frustrated because her BF wants to “wait until marriage” lol I am eighteen and this is my story.My day started off as any normal day would. Small town boring. I had been waiting two hours o a delivery guy and was starting to get really worked up and pissed off.I thought fast service meant within the hour or even ten minutes, but no they keep me waiting . Finally the doorbell rings and I’m thinking my package arrived .I didnt see a package through the door window but opened it anyway. My highschool sweetheart is standing there with these totally awesome flowers. I haven’t seen him in three years and he shows up on my front porch at night with flowers?wtf? So he says ” May I come in ?” in that sweet voice i had grown to love so much and I say, “Sure, Come in” I lead him into the kitchen and make us some drinks to occupy my trembling hands. He looks so hot . Tall and lithe, thin muscular stomach. I can’t help it and lead him upstairs,drinks in hand. We’re in my room just sitting there kinda akwardly on my bed talking. Then he leans in closer and I can smell his sweet sweet body and I want him so bad and am not going to pretend I don’t! He leans in even closer until our lips and bodies are only inches apart .At long lasy I gasp with pleasure as he goes in for the kill, leaning in to stick his tongue in my mouth and fireworks go off in my head.I had forgotten how soft his lips were. Immediately as if in synchronisation we both begin tearing our clothes off, eyes locked on each other the whole time. I am so wet my panties are soaked and his cock is big and pulsating. Then he asks me if I will blow him . Hmm..Most definitely I say . I dont have much experience sucking dicks but I must of been good because he came in my face and as it rolled down my lips i tasted it and it tasted so good. Taking me by surprise he sticks it in my eagerly waiting pussy and I thought we might disturb the neighbors with our loud cries of passion as we exploded into each other again and again. When its finally over we lay there naked and panting and he begins to dress quickly. I ask him to stgay the night with me but he can’t . He did say he would like to do this again with me and he wants this time to be rougher than the first .He exits my room and I am laying there like..ugh… wanting more, much more. I’ve got hormones telling me to do this, you know. Yes I want LOTS more! Thanks for reading my first attempt at naughtiness, XoXoXO Rani of The Great Oceans (my pen AND vampire name)
UPDATE on my piteous post for grocery money for today earlier.You know, When I put up the paragraph you quickly skipped over asking for a green dot so I could have some grocery money today…. I must really need it if i asked…same with the site help . I had one guy write and say he was sending me a greendot. I got my neice excited and we got ready to go get some groceries and sat and waited and waited. Nothing. Very funny . Another guy started iming rather aggressively trying to get an appt. He cannot be verified and have many times in the past tried so i cant see him.. but he sees I am hard up and ims constantly trying to take advantage of that to get to find out where I am or whatever without giving his info … didnt work. I might be broke but im not stupid. It sux that there are people like that though. I’m growing angry at the world and its occupants. When is it my turn to get a chance to break even. I am sarcastic and bitter and would get drunk could i afford to. Everyone is screwing me. A client I see regularly..in exchange for him paying my car insurance etc.. has ditched me repeatedly right now and whenever a touring girl comes in. He stands me up repeatedly and now I got an email from my insurance company saying my insurance is cancelled. I’ve already done the appointments. And him who is forever around chatting, mysteriously disappeared as usual. He cant pay my insurance but is putting up a girl in a hotel that owes him 2000$ . I am tired of being put on second burner with him. The only time he wants to see me is when i am unavailable to anyone so he wants me then. Otherwise he cancels me constantly and pays me a third of what he pays other girls and brags incessantly about it.I am done with him. It sux i put up a plea asking for help and all i got was ambushed by bottom feeders trying to take advantage. Not one good sentiment from anyone reading my blog was sent to me. I am here for you everyday , and when I need something, a favour like today, like food … NO ONE helps. I am shocked . I will spend the night with nothing at all. It’s changing me. I feel like I am done here.Maybe you think I expect too much of the world. Maybe I do, all I know is I give and give and I get shit on. If i cannot come up with the money to renew my webpage and rs2k ad, which i doubt as i cant even have grocery or rent money … i will then be completely out of service immediately and gone from the area. Life fucking sucks! Sitting in a big cold empty city alone wishing i had food and drink and people to treat me right. fuck it. And I am tired of being under appreciated for my awesome services and deals. I’m tired of ceaseless bills and now my Rs and website ads are due and I got no contribution from readers, so I think my site will be shutting down . not to mention the disappointment of pouring hours of work into affiliates and my movie store just to not see progress for 6 months or more. The money doesnt pour in right away. regulars are shorting me or taking advantage because of my current mone status, others are trying to take advantage of it. I am just sick and tired of sitting here putting my best effort into everything and getting nothing but carpal tunnel and a headache.It’s obvious the city holds nothing for me, no one.
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